


It Was an Accident

by oisiflaneur



Series: Different Colors [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5819869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oisiflaneur/pseuds/oisiflaneur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’ll start with the pilot. You gotta do them in order.” </p><p>“Sssssstaaaart?” The smaller gem tilts her head and hisses the word out, as though it’s foreign to her. “Theeeeeeeemmmm?”</p><p>Amethyst sighs and smiles, throwing her arms out casually. “Yeah! There’s like, five seasons, dude.”</p><p>When that doesn’t seem to sink in, she just sighs and counts off on her fingers. “‘Bout twenty episodes a season, that means it’s… I dunno, like. More than a hundred episodes.”</p><p>The look on Peridot’s face worth, in Amethyst’s humble opinion, every dollar spent in five seasons’ worth of budget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i fell into the garbage rock pit and i can't get out, i'm sorry friends. i'm trying out shorter chapters more often (instead of a reasonably sized oneshot like usual) in case we get any more information or my theories change on rewatches. i think it'll only be a few instalments, but who knows where this gay geometry train will take us! :'>
> 
>  **content warnings:** spoilers for the series up to stevenbomb '16. set nebulously after the drill is nearly finished and they have some downtime, but before the cluster is presenting a real threat.
> 
> my general writing tag is [here](http://oisiflaneur.tumblr.com/tagged/graywrites) for drabbles etc!

“ _Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!_ ”

The scream echos through the the barn and the fields around it, startling a small flock of birds into being airbourne. 

“Steven, what is _wrong_ with you!”

Steven, to his defense, is looking properly apologetic, slunked down against the wall, and sweating buckets. “I thought it would be a good way to distrac-- I mean! To introduce her to human culture!” He nods vigorously, glancing over at the catalyst for the argument.

“If you can _call_ it culture.” Peridot mumbles deadpan, glancing over at them. “I merely allowed myself to become enraptured by the interpersonal relations. By no means does that imply that Earth entertainment is superior to or even comparable with--”

Amethyst stomps a foot dramatically, sending up small clouds of dust. “Yeah, sure. And if you wanna get somebody into art, I guess you’re gonna show them, what? Some stupid paintings of old dead people?”

There’s a long pause, before he shrugs and tries to give a proper response. “Um… I guess?” Steven braves, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Pearl had made sure to show him Da Vinci's work by the time he was ten, but after all, television hadn't steered _him_ wrong so far when it came to learning about earth.

Amethyst, apparently, has not been attending Pearl's lessons.

“ _Nnnnnnnooooope!_ Wrong answer!” She yells, before spinning on the heel of her boot and dashing down the dirt path, away from the barn. In her wake, Peridot and Steven are both left frozen and wordless. There's a long moment of stillness, before Peridot rolls her eyes and marches back into the shade.

When Amethyst returns a short while later, she’s carrying a shoddy cardboard box in her arms.

“Okay. Okay! I’ve got the real deal, here, Periwinkle.” She grins and drops the box onto the floor in front of her. “I swear, you’ll like this even better.”

Steven blinks, rocking onto the balls of his feet to peek over the rim. “What-- _Hey!_ ” He pouts, squinting down at the contents, and his tone drops with suspicion. “Were you suppoooosed to keep these?”

Amethyst pulls out a cassette labeled only with masking tape ( #3 ) and holds it aloft, grinning widely. “You think I throw _anything_ out? I kept everything from your dad’s locker! I gotta keep it safe in case he ever wants it back, right? Right.” She looks entirely too pleased with herself.

The declaration is only met by crossed arms and a serious frown from Steven, putting on his best disapproving face. Throwing her head back and groaning dramatically, Amethyst drops the tape back onto the pile. “What _ever_! Not like anybody else is gonna watch ‘em with me. And it’s _boring_ watching teevee alone! What’s the _point_ if there’s nobody to laugh with you?”

Peridot, for her part, looks skeptical. “What’s the big deal? It can’t possibly be better than Camp Pining Hearts.” On the last three words, her eyes go wide, a small smile gracing her mouth. Her insistence on the inferiority of mankind’s audiovisual entertainment seems just to melt away when she has to refer directly to what she's experienced so far.

All that prompts from Amethyst is a sigh and a roll of her eyes, waving her hand at shoulder level. “Just trust me, Peri. You’re gonna love this.”

* * *

Steven had excused himself… Pretty much immediately. He has little patience left for Amethyst’s sitcoms, especially when she insists on consuming the entirety. So it’s only Peridot who clambers up the ladder after her, squinting suspiciously.

“We’ll start with the pilot. You gotta do them in order.” 

“Sssssstaaaart?” The smaller gem tilts her head and hisses the word out, as though it’s foreign to her. “Theeeeeeeemmmm?”

Amethyst sighs and smiles, throwing her arms out casually. “Yeah! There’s like, five seasons, dude.”

When that doesn’t seem to sink in, she just sighs and counts off on her fingers. “‘Bout twenty episodes a season, that means it’s… I dunno, like. More than a hundred episodes.”

The look on Peridot’s face worth, in Amethyst’s humble opinion, every dollar spent in five seasons’ worth of budget.

* * *

To her credit, Pearl only starts to fuss about the conspicuous absence of noise by the next morning. Peering around the kitchen as though she might stumble upon Amethyst hiding in some corner, she twists her fingers together and leans over Steven while he shovels cereal into his mouth. 

“Steven, have you seen Amethyst? I don’t know if she came back home last night…”

Around the spoon shoved between his cheek and teeth, Steven breaks into a smile, his words muffled into mumbling by his halfway masticated breakfast. “She’s hanging out with Peridot! She mentioned that I showed her that canadian soap opera, and Amethyst flipped out and dug out a bunch of her own tapes.”

“Her own-- She _wouldn’t…_ ” Pearl’s eyes widen for a brief instant before she narrows them again, resting her hand on her chin. “Oh, what am I saying. Of course she would. I _suppose_ as long as she isn’t dragging some poor human into it along with her… It’s not as though Peridot needs fuel or rest...”

Tilting his head to the side, Steven finally swallows his food, gesturing with the now empty spoon. “They seemed fine when I left! Besides, I think this might be good for Peridot. You know… Introduce her to some new earthling art!”

The only response he gets for a long moment is an incredulous look, before Pearl crosses her arms. “I’m… Not entirely sure that _’Lil Butler_ is an excellent example of earthling art, Steven.”

* * *

She accompanies him back to the barn, letting him climb up the ladder ahead of her. 

When Steven throws a hand up through the trapdoor, waving his palm around and hollering, it gets only a grunt in response. “Hey! Amethyst, you still up here?” He ascends the final rungs, peeking up into the loft, Pearl craning around behind him to catch a view herself.

Amethyst is, indeed, still up here. She’s settled against the couch, bonelessly flopped with her limbs askew, her head propped up in Peridot’s lap with dozey eyes. For her part, Peridot is sitting crosslegged, leaning forward, her own eyes glued to the screen. Without looking away, she raises a hand to greet them, twitching her fingers minutely.

“ _Well of course the dog is going to get sick if you only feed it caviar!_ ” Chimes a high pitched voice from the television. From Amethyst, it earns a snicker and a giddy squint, but Peridot simply leans forward another fraction. " _You people have too much money!_ "

She is _entranced_.

“Uuuuh, Pearl?” Steven turns back, whispering. In doing so, he sees that her eyes are even wider than his. There’s a sharp tug on the back of his shirt, and a palm against the front of his clavicle, pulling him back down the ladder. “Pearl? Hey! What’s the big idea!”

“Come on, Steven.” There’s a faint blue tint to her cheeks, and her eyebrows are furrowed deeply in the center. “That’s... At least she's not _infecting_ your father. We’ll come interrupt them when we need help. Or whenever they finish the series.” She bites her bottom lip, casting her gaze out through the open barn doors. “Whichever comes first, I suppose...”

* * *

The two of them do, in fact, emerge of their own volition. Sleepyeyed and smiling faintly, Amethyst trots back into the common room sometime partway through day the third, scrubbing at her face with the back of her hand. “Heya, gang. How’s it going?”

“It’s going.” Garnet says flatly as she glances up from the table, her hands resting on either side of her plate. There’s a small, contented smile on her face, which tilts with what's clearly amusement. “How have _you_ been?” As though she doesn't know. 

Amethyst stretches her arms above her head, yawning loudly. “Good, good. Finished up the last season, but Dotty's... Not taking that so well." She drops her arms again to where she can shrug, before flipping her hand and sliding it horizontally to emphasize her elongated vowels. "I’m gonna see if there’s anything else she might wanna watch, maybe help out with those _finale bluuuues_.” 

“Ugh!” Pearl exclaims, crinkling her nose with distaste as she steps into the shared space. “Really? You want to get her started on _something else?_ What _exactly_ about that seems like a good idea, may I ask?”

“Hmmph.” Garnet’s small, quiet grunt is startlingly warm, and it gets the attention of everyone in the room. Things seem to freeze for a moment, as the other gems wait for her final verdict. “Only if it’s educational.”

“Hah!” Amethyst pounds a clenched fist against her open palm, a grin splitting her face. “Great! I have _just the thing._ ”

Steven’s _Lovely Deity Combat Squad_ discs all go missing, quite mysteriously, the next morning. Without consulting the others, he decides to wait a few days before bringing it up with the barn's resident.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna wait a while before this next bit, but i had a bit of a brainwave and got very excited about how i was gonna go forward. expect a biiiiit more delay between the next while i work on other things, but i've definitely got at least one more chapter in me.
> 
> also, i edited a few small details in the last chapter, like the name of the show that peridot binge watched next.
> 
>  **content warnings** are the same as the last chapter, with some really unsubtle references to translation induced incest. you know EXACTLY which series she watched right before this.

After a few minutes of tuneless humming, Steven finally finds the beginning of a melody that he likes, and follows it for a few bars. He’s just wasting time when he’s practicing with the ukelele, but he likes the solitude at the top of the hill while he does. It means that nobody’s around to listen to him fumble a chord, or start murmuring lyrics to himself.

“Trumpets loud! Aaand flag unfurled, gonna take a trip! To save the world--”

The cough that interrupts his idle strumming is dry, and short, and _sudden_. And it makes Steven jump about an inch off the grass before he twists his head around.

“Oh, hey! _Whew_. You know, you really shouldn’t sneak up on people like that!” 

Peridot is standing practically at attention, her arms folded behind her back and her expression serious; eyes narrowed and mouth thin. Steven leans back and waves his feet back and forth for a moment as he waits for her to respond, his heels planted on the grass. But right when it seems she’s about to say something, she snaps her mouth closed again and looks away from him, grumbling.

A spark of worry jolts through him, and he shifts the instrument off his lap in order to stand up and be closer to her eye level. “Peridot? Is something the matter?”

She deigns to meet his eyes, even if it’s through her grimace. “As much as it _pains_ me to admit it, I... Oh, this is _ridiculous!_ ” She brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose, pushing her visor up. “I can’t _believe_ I’ve stooped this low! Every time that I think. ‘This is it, this is the worst things can possibly be!’, something new comes up. Every single time! It’s like crystalwork!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Steven interrupts her and puts on his best comforting grin, though it’s somewhat strained; he’s almost afraid to ask what’s prompted this. But he has to, or Peridot will probably just keep rambling about her apparent demise. “One step at a time, alright? Alright. It’s no big. Sooooo…” There’s a long pause while she glares off into the distance, but he soldiers ahead regardless. “So! What’s going on?”

When she turns to him, her expression could probably curdle milk. Baring her teeth in a snarl and rolling her eyes, Peridot finally crosses her arms and stares somewhere vaguely to the left of his shoulder, apparently intently focused on something, _anything_ but him. “I… Am in need of your unique knowledge of this planet and its ways.”

Steven can’t help but burst into laughter, but when he opens his eyes, her posture hasn’t changed and her expression looks even more displeased, her lips curled up into a snarl. “I _knew_ this was a bad idea. I knew it! I’ll have to ask _Garnet_ , and that’s going to be even _worse--_ ”

“Hey, hey!” Steven’s holds his hands up, palms out, in the universal gesture of ‘chill out, my friend’. “I’m real sorry! I shouldn’t have laughed. You just made it sound like something big and scary was happening, so I wasn’t expecting--”

“ _Something big and scary_ is _happening!_ ” She shouts, finally breaking her stiff stance, but it’s only to hop from foot to foot furiously. “And! And the last thing that I need is your mockery in trying to comprehend it!”

He takes a deep breath through his nose and sits down again, crossing his legs and planting his hands on top of his knees. “Okay. I’m sorry, Peridot. I’m ready to listen, okay?” He hopes that the smile he sends her is soothing.

The green gem remains standing for a long moment, glaring down at him past her nose, before she grunts and drops her weight onto the grass in front of him. “Very well. But please refrain from your humor reaction during this exchange. I assure you, this is no laughing matter.”

How serious she’s being about… _Whatever_ it is almost makes him want to laugh again, but Steven pulls his lips between his teeth and nods solemnly.

She peers at him for a hearbeat, gauging his expression. “Hmmph. Acceptable.” Peridot lets out a heavy sigh and turns to stare at her own knees, her mouth screwing up with uncertainty. “Since arriving here, I have been exposed to a number of new ideas. And… Some that are not so new, but still utterly bizarre. However!” She brightens up considerably, something almost like excitement creeping onto her face for the first time since she approached him. “Your prerecorded entertainment has helped considerably to put things in perspective. And! And, to provide the vocabulary necessary to properly describe my dilemma!” 

Steven has to lean back a few degrees, to make up for how close she’s leaning towards him. Even with the visor, she is _very_ close. “Ooookay, so… How would you… Describe your dilemma?” 

She closes her eyes and inhales deeply, her ribcage expanding from the effort. When she opens them again, her expression is deathly serious again. 

“Steven… How does one being become cousins with another being?”

There’s a long moment where he tries to parse what she means, and an even longer one where he has to try and contain his giggles about it. “Oh! Well… I kind of thought that was a human thing? You don’t really get parents, and it’s kind of.” The opportunity for wordplay pops into his head, and he can’t help the grin; he can only hope that she doesn’t assume he’s laughing _at_ her. “It’s kind of all related! Heheh.”

Peridot’s face screws up in confusion again, before she scrunches her eyes shut with frustration, flapping her hand in front of her face as though to disperse his mistake. “No. No no no no! It’s not like your _mother_ or _father_ at all. I mean… I suppose it may be, I haven’t had the chance to learn much about the Greg… Agh!” The slap her palms make against her knees is probably supposed to be dramatic, but it comes off mostly as pitiful. “That’s not what I’m talking about!”

He leans back a bit more, blinking as his smile falters. “Then… What are you talking about?”

“Cousins! You know, like captain Poseidon and captain Caelous!” Peridot’s face shifts from concentration to pure, unadulterated glee to reflect her shifting gears, going from explaining her own predicament to explaining what she’s seen on a screen. _This_ , this is something that she can understand. 

“They’re always together, or at least almost always. And their prime directive is _soooo_ clearly the continued existence of the other, and oftentimes they make contact with their manipulatory digits. They form a…” There’s another pause while she waves her hands around, twitching her fingers as she searches for the word she wants. “A complimentary pair.”

Oh.

“Caelous is soooooo obviously of a bodyguard caste, created to protect her general. She’s capable and dedicated and often takes point, it’s quite admirable, really.”

_Oh._

“But then Poseidon is strategic and intelligent and calm and clearly ranked higher, and yet! And yet she’s actually kind to her ser--”

“Ooooooooo _oooooooh._ ” Steven’s eyes go wide as the blood rushes to his cheeks, sitting up a little straighter. “That’s.... Mmm. Yeah. That’s. That’s not really what we call that.” 

Peridot freezes, stopping midsentence so suddenly that he can practically hear the brakes squealing. Her hands still clawing at the air in front of her, she turns her head the degree needed to stare Steven in the face. “What. Do you mean. By that.”

“Weeeeeell…” He rubs at the back of his neck, face still red. He has absolutely no idea how to put this into phrasing that an alien would understand. “Those DVDs are pretty old, they were handmedowns! The, um… The words and the voices and stuff? It’s an old version, they made some… Translation errors. You watched it in english, right?””

When she rolls her eyes, Peridot rolls one of her hands along with it. “Of course I did! What other language would I have watched it in?”

“Peridot, there’s more than one language on earth.”

She looks startled and disturbed by this revelation. “How inefficient. Are these caste dialects? I _suppose_ one would only need to communicate with others of the same cut..”

“No, no! … Well. I guess, sort of? Not on purpose or anything, though.” Steven winces, chewing on the corner of his bottom lip, trying to think of how not to bungle this. “Look, you should probably ask Pearl about that. She knows a lot more about history and languages than I do. I just know cartoons!” The smile returns to his face on the final word, and he throws his arms out.

The other gem looks unimpressed. 

Faltering only slightly, Steven gestures again, tilting his head. “Okay, okay. I guess, um… What you’re talking about? When they say ‘cousins’, it’s like… A password. Like a secret code.” He _seems_ to have her attention. “Most of the time, um. _These days_ , what we’d call Poseidon and Caelous? The word is girlfriends.” A heartbeat passes, and Steven opens his mouth soundlessly again while he works out that Peridot didn’t specify _who_ exactly she wanted to be cousins with, which meant that she might not have anyone in mind. “Or boyfriends? Or something. Special friends. Definitely not cousins.”

He gets a theatrical groan in return, before Peridot drops her face into her hands in apparent defeat. “This is all too complex. Why can’t things ever just be _easy!_ This would never be an issue on homeworld.”

“Why’s it an issue here?” Steven scratches at his chin, a smile slowly spreading across his face as the crux of the predicament sinks in. “You want to go out with somebody? I bet I can help set you up!” He doesn’t realize how lucky he is that ‘going out’ was a phrase used in _Camp Pining Hearts_ , which means that Peridot actually understands his meaning on the first try.

Now it’s _his_ turn to lean forward into her space, planting his hands on the grass as he makes to get up. “Let’s see… Heh, Ronaldo would love to meet a real alien, but I dooooon’t think that would work out super well. Sadie is super nice! And she deserves to have somebody treat her like a high ranking general.” The other gem opens her mouth and squints across at him. “Uuuuuum… Wait, how old are you? Does age difference matter a bunch? Cause I know that mom was like. Loooooots older than dad when--”

Peridot blanches, sticking her tongue out with disgust. “Ugh, no! I’m not desperate to be complete, I’m not going to stoop to being cousins with a _human!_ Besides! I have a being in mind.” 

“Girlfriend.” Steven corrects automatically, in the vague subconscious hope that she’ll make the switch. “Er… Gemfriend? Yeah! That sounds good.” He takes a moment to be pleased with himself, before he realizes what she just said. “Wait. You want to be cou-- gemfriends with somebody specific? That’s even better! I can help you get together with them instead of trying blind dates!” Somehow Steven doubts that teaching her table manners is going to get any easier than it’s been thus far.

“Yes, Steven. That is why I found it necessary to force myself to approach you.” Her face has dropped into a careful, neutral glare, levelled directly at him. “As much as I hate to admit it, I am… Operating outside of my designated parameters here, and your knowledge of earthling customs makes you valuable to me.”

It speaks to how accustomed he’s gotten to Peridot that Steven is able to parse her declaration so quickly. “Okay, but. I thought that you said you aren’t interested in a human?”

“I’m _not!_ ” She shrieks, scrunching her face up and slamming her fists down onto her knees in frustration. “I’m not, but I _might as well be!_ I don’t know how or why, but earth _is_ homeworld to her somehow! What kind of messed up planet is this? The best gem is barely even a proper gem!”

In her tantrum, she tilts herself backwards and falls, writhing, onto the grass. Scratching at his chin again, Steven watches for a long moment while she flails and screams, having learnt that the best course of action at this point is just to let her get it out of her system. 

“Why am I even bothering! It’s all pointless pointless _pointless!_ ”

When her energy is spent and she’s left panting on the ground, he shifts his weight up and crabwalks over beside her head, peering down intently. “You, um...” Steven wants, desperately, to be understanding and supportive right now, but he still can’t help the grin creeping across his face. “You’re talking about Amethyst, huh?”

“I’m talking about _the tragic downfall of my sanity, here!_ ” She snarls, hoisting herself back up and turning towards him. “Not only is it completely unheard of for different cuts to become involved, but _a soldier and a technician?_ Ridiculous! Bordering on humorous!” Peridot buries her face in her hands, drawing her knees up to tuck herself into something like the foetal position.

“Weeeell, I guess it’s pretty funny.” Steven shrugs, chewing on one side of the inside of his mouth. “But only because you’re freaking out waaaaay more than you gotta!” 

“I am freaking out _exactly the necessary amount!_ ” She snarls, uncurling slightly to throw her hands up and grab at the sky again. “Even _if_ there were records on crosscut courtship for me to study, _she_ has no understanding! It’s pointless! 

“Well, why don’t you just… Make your own way?” His voice is chipper, and gentle, and _genuine_ , and she has to blink rapidly and stare at him for a long moment to be certain that he isn’t making fun of her. 

“You… You’re being serious. That was a serious suggestion. Wasn’t it?” 

Steven shrugs, a lopsided smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. “Sure it was! I mean, it’d be one thing if she was from earth and didn’t really get gem stuff, buuuuuuut you’re saying that gems don’t really… _Have_ this kind of stuff, right? That's fine! So there’s nothing for her to get! Just do it your way, Peridot.” Crossing his legs under him again, he rocks back and forth on his rear, clutching his feet as he relaxes into smiling at her again. “You gotta make something new!”

She takes a long moment to stare at him, pursing her lips while she thinks it over. “So. Your specialized advice as a fellow earth native is… To ignore local _and_ homeworld customs?”

“Uuuuum… Do you really think that Amethyst _cares_ about, like… Manners, or whatever?”

Peridot’s mouth opens and closes silently a few times, the quiet fishlike _pop_ ping of her lips the only sound that escapes them. When she narrows her eyes and brings a hand to her chin, stooping to rest her weight on the heel of her palm, she seems to be considering his suggestion. “Hmmm. It appears that I was correct in coming to you first. This may be an important factor in winning her over.”

The grin Steven is wearing practically bisects his face. “You, um. You need some help with that, too?”

Her reply to _that_ is to shriek wordlessly, pull up a fistful of grass, and toss it in his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW OKAY. doing chapters of this in between other stuff is actually working really well for me, but sorry for the delay! and sorry in advance for the while it's gonna be before the final ( ????? we'll see! ) instalment, this one ended up being a fair bit longer than i thought it'd be. we're getting into amethyst's side of this a bit more, which means lots of terrible self esteem and jumping to conclusions. yaaaaay!!
> 
> **content warnings:** nothing new! just interpersonal drama, if you're sensitive to that.

Amethyst hanging out in his room isn’t exactly new. For all her complaints about _Crying Breakfast Friends_ , he’s learned that she’ll jump at the opportunity to watch just about anything, and long ago got used to having her plopped next to him in front of the screen.

Hanging out up there _without him_ , on the other hand, is a little more unusual.

He hears the blare from the television’s speakers as soon as he steps through the screen door, peeking up at his loft. Even if he couldn’t see a pale purple tuft just over the edge, the other two gems hadn’t expressed much more than disdain for daytime television. And, _even if_ he didn’t know the Cartoon Channel schedule by heart, the _Lex, Lexy, & Alexis_ theme song is hard _not_ to recognize. After all, it’s just the names of the three protagonists, and some whistling.

“Heeeey, Amethyst!” He chimes as he hops up the stairs, slinging his backpack off and onto his bed. “Whatcha doing up here? I thought you and Peridot were starting on the _Breezy Studios_ movies. ”

“Yeah, we _were._ We didn’t even finish the second disc, so I guess she didn’t like it much.” Splayed out on her stomach and facing the television, Amethyst cranes her neck back to look at him over her shoulder, frowning. “I got _kicked out_. Apparently. Guess there’s other stuff she’d rather do.” She looks away and slumps down further against the floor, fiddling with a strand of hair. 

His face creasing in worry, Steven pads over and sinks into a crouch, planting a hand gently on her shoulder. “Oh, come on, Amethyst! I’m sure that’s not true.” How _could_ it be?

She shoots him a glare for his attempt at comfort. “She _said_ so, Steven. Said she had an important project, and I couldn’t be around for it. Those are her words! Not mine! It’s not like I was super helpful with the drill, _or anything!_ ” She lets out a huff and rolls over onto her side to turn her back to him, curled up with her arms crossed.

He swallows anxiously, his eyebrows meeting in the middle. It’s been nearly a week since the newest member of the team tracked him down and asked for his advice; had she really not said _anything_ to Amethyst in the interim? “Are you sure? I mean… She seems to be really warming up to you!” 

Even if they’ve had some falling out, Steven doesn’t feel like it’s his place to give the game away. He has to be _careful_.

All he gets in response is a huff, Amethyst exhaling and curling up tighter into a ball, her expression obscured by the thatch of her hair. “Says _you_. She made sure to tell me that I don’t even get to _see_ what she’s working on until it’s done. She stopped right in the middle of a marathon! _Halfway through the movie!_ ”

Steven knows that there are _very_ few crimes as egregious as that, to Amethyst.

His mouth a concerned downwards curve, Steven walks around her so that she’s facing him, only to have her flip over again, her hair getting tangled underneath her. “Um… Well, what was the movie?” He doesn’t try to go around, this time, settling for craning over her until he can see the barest glimpse of her expression. It’ll have to do.

“The one with the little girl who gets stuck in a weird, new reality.” Amethyst grumbles, closing her eyes and tucking her hands in so that her arms are crossed, twisted as it is with her weight on one side. “We got to the part where the lizard monster says that she’s really important to her, and then she said she remembered something _super_ pressing that she had to go do. Like. _Immediately._ Right in the middle of the best scene!”

It only takes a split second for Steven to tamp down his reaction, stifle his shock -- because he knows that she doesn’t take well to unexpected responses. It’s just… Well, it’s hard not to ruin the surprise. But on the other hand, he doesn’t want her to get the wrong impression for _reals_.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he hears the front door swing shut, and twists around to see the other Crystal Gems trotting in, trying desperately to communicate to them that the situation up here is delicate. With his eyes darting between them and Amethyst, he leans towards the edge of the loft, the grin still fixed on his face as he waves his hands frantically. “Hey! Where’ve you guys been?”

Garnet tilts her head to ( presumably ) peer at the two of them, hoisting a spiderlike metal arm off of her shoulder and letting it clank to the floor. “Went to check on one of the Gardens. Found out the defense systems were still working.”

“Which is ridiculous!” Pearl exclaims, stepping over the debris, rolling her eyes. “I could have _sworn_ that we took care of the alarms the last time we were there, _at least._ Why would they be active again?”

“Hey!” Steven interrupts, his gaze flicking to the back of Amethyst’s head once more; she’s stubbornly focused on the screen. “Do _you_ guys know what’s up with Peridot?”

_That_ seems to get their attention, prompting both to stand up a little straighter and look up into the loft. “It _is_ a tad strange.” Pearl sighs dramatically, one arm cupping her chin and the other propping up her elbow. “Oh, and here I’d _thought_ that she’d made such good progress. She was actually acting _friendly_ with you, Amethyst!” 

Steven has never been good at keeping secrets; being the only one in the room who’s informed is making him practically vibrate out of his skin. Unfortunately, the only response it gets out of Amethyst is a grunt, and another twist so that she doesn’t have to look at them. 

With his own sigh, Steven directs a wistful glance at the midpoint between her shoulderblades as he hoists his weight upwards, before jogging down the stairs to help the others unload the spoils.

“I’m sure she’ll come around.” A voice interrupts smoothly, and Steven whips his head around to see Garnet standing behind him, a tiny smile on her face. As the other two go back to bickering, she holds an index finger up and silently shushes him.

He grins back, relief flooding through him. If Garnet thinks that things will work out, they then _must._ That’s how it works.

* * *

Another night passes before he sees the cause of all this fuss, perched at the end of his bed when he wakes up in the morning. Startled, Steven lets out a yelp, before he slaps his hands over his mouth and glances around. 

“Peridot!” He still hasn’t really gotten the hang of anything but a _stage_ whisper, but it’s early yet; barely past dawn. None of the others are up and about, and Lion is splayed comfortably on the couch downstairs, judging by the pastel pink curlicue he can see over the edge, through the dimness. As their guardian, he must have decided that Peridot wasn’t a threat.

Or, being a cat, he just didn’t care.

“Steven.” The gem in question hisses quietly, crawling up the bed to crouch closer to Steven’s head, her face intently serious. “Once again, I find myself in need of your services. Are you willing to commit to this proposition?”

Rubbing one of his eyes, Steven props his weight up with the other arm, blinking at her blearily. “Um, yeah, I guess? I mean, sure thing! Does it have to be exactly, like… _right now?_ ” 

Her face shifts from a serious stare to a flinch, but she spares a hand to tap against her lower lip while she considers. “I… Suppose not. But sooner would be vastly preferred to later.”

There’s a huge part of him that wants to just say _that’s cool_ , roll over, and go back to sleep. But her expression is so intent, and it’s the first time she’s ventured away from the barn in _days_ , so he sighs and sits up properly. “Okay, okay! Maybe I can’t do it _right now_ , but explain it to me, and I will when the day gets started, alright? Whenever the lights go on!” He knows now that he’s the only one with a proper schedule, that the others adapt their habits to suit him. But knowing that doesn’t make him less bleary at this hour. 

Her face explodes into a grin, her eyes glittering as she grabs for his hand. “Okay, okay! It’s an agreement. You will guide Amethyst to the barn at the soonest possible opportunity, yes? Yes! Perfect! This will work!”

“Ame--” Steven narrows his eyes, cautiously pleased even through his exhaustion. “Wait, is this about your _project_ , or whatever? What’s going on, huh?”

Peridot’s cheshire cat smile just widens, and she grabs for his shoulders. “I followed your advice, Steven! I’m doing it my own way. And I think it’s working! And.. And! She’s going to _love it!_ ” Her voice lilts upwards, almost into a shriek, and she shakes her fists energetically. 

And then she’s gone, having launched herself off of the edge of the bed and onto the first floor, and the only proof that she was ever there is a crinkling of his sheets. Sighing, Steven flops back onto the pillows. He has until Amethyst wakes up, and that’s not going to be until _at least_ noon. He can take a few hours to catch up on his sleep schedule.

* * *

It takes him a good twenty minutes to wheedle and convince her, but Steven does, eventually, manage to drag Amethyst out to the barn. 

She stands hunched, her wrists tucked into the crook of each elbow, hair falling in front of her eyes to almost completely obscure both of them. Fidgeting slightly, Steven stands next to her, glancing anxiously between her sour face and the open barn doors.

“Ah, there you are. Excellent.” 

Peridot’s expression and posture are all business, her back straight and knees locked, her hands folded behind her back. Her cheeks, on the other hand, are a vibrant grass green, from ear to ear.

“Hey! You alright, Peridot?” Breaking out into a grin, Steven lets go of Amethyst’s wrist and darts forward, making for the barn. He has to stop short when the green gem nearly clotheslines him, throwing her arms out in his path to block him. 

“Yes! Yes. It’s fine. Of course. Everything is. Good.” Planting her hands on his shoulders, Peridot gemhandles him into turning around, giving him a small shove away to make sure he gets the hint. “Thank you for making sure that Amethyst arrived.” Digging a sockclad heel into the dirt, she pushes him past the subject of discussion, smile still fixed almost eerily on her face.

At the sound of her name, Amethyst finally spares a glance at Peridot, but it’s only to send a glare her way. “It’s not like I was gonna get lost, or something.” 

Peridot laughs aloud at that, high and nasal, and genuinely amused. “Of course not!” When she opens her eyes again, it’s to watch intently as Steven trods away down the path, scraping the heels of his sandals on the gravel and glancing over his shoulder. Once he’s what she deems to be outside of hearing range, she clears her throat and takes a step towards Amethyst. “ _You_ would never make such a ridiculous mistake. I simply sent Steven to ensure that your arrival would be timely, since…” She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes again on the exhale. “This is. Important.”

“What’s this stupid little _project_ of yours, anyway? It can’t be more important than the drill was. Lemme guess.” With a puff of air that blows her bangs upwards. Amethyst exhales sharply, her posture still screaming _unimpressed._ “You had him bring me over because… _Now_ you need help?”

Peridot shakes her head from side to side so quickly that it practically blurs, swinging her hands forward to hold her palms up, almost mirroring the human pose of _hey man, not my fault_. “No, no! No no no, not at all. I needed you to wait until I was _finished._ That’s all!”

Her amendments don’t seem to have the intended effect. Amethyst’s shoulders hike up even more, and she snorts as she turns away a few more degrees. “Sure, right. Because I couldn’t _do_ anything, right?”

“No! Of course not! You’re the most capable--” Catching herself, Peridot coughs as her face turns darker, bringing a fist in front of her mouth. “No. No, actually. I merely wanted to be sure that you would… Not be exposed to the. The prototypes. _That_ would compromise the clarity of the data relating to your initial reaction.”

After she merely blinks slowly at her in disbelief, Amethyst grinds her teeth and flings her hands out, her voice rising in volume and pitch. “My initial reaction! My initial reaction is that you _banned_ me for like, half a week! I-- _More than that!_ I thought...” She turns away, shoulders hunched again. “I thought we were…”

Peridot doesn’t give her a chance to say whatever it is that she thought they were. Fidgeting and leaning forward, she mumbles: “I had to finish before you saw it.” She wilts slightly, casting her gaze towards her feet, still standing at an awkward ( at least ) two feet away. There’s a long pause while she scuffs her stockinged heels against each other and screws her mouth up, trying to get up the courage to explain herself, excuse herself, _anything--_

But before she can, there’s a weary sigh. “Alright, whatever. Just show me whatever it is you gotta show me.” Amethyst’s tone is harsh, but a lot of the aggression has drained out of her posture, and Peridot takes _that_ as a success. Breaking into a cleft grin, she reaches over to grab Amethyst’s hand, tugging her along as she turns towards the ladder. “Just trust me, Amy. I’ve calculated that the likelihood of a positive response is _at least_ sixtyfive percent.”

The nickname isn’t _entirely_ new, but it gets a dark mauve to pepper Amethyst’s cheeks, and even though she turns her head to look down. But even through the embarrassment, she manages to mumble. “Your calculations aren’t always perfect.”

“My calculations are _impeccable_.” Peridot shoots back, tipping her nose up as she drags the other gem forward. The confidence in her grin is something that hasn’t been seen practically since she adopted the planet as her own.

When they come to the ladder, she stops dead and lets go of Amethyst’s wrist, glancing between her eyes and the loft. “Well? You. You should go ahead! Don’t you want the first look?” 

Squinting at her, Amethyst yanks her hand free of her _radius_ , and uses it to ascend the ladder. Peridot pokes her fingers together, internally debating whether to scoot up after her immediately, or wait on the ground floor for some indication of reaction.

The sound of Amethyst’s uncertain voice, drifting down through the trapdoor, decides that for her.

“Uuuuuh… Peridot? What… What’s _up_ with this?”

Her hands slapping dully on the rungs, Peridot zips upwards, pausing only to peek over the floor and try to assess the situation. 

The situation is this: Amethyst standing in the middle of all her work, leaning back slightly, her face confused and uncertain. Around her -- plastered to the walls with an array of scotch tape and stick glue -- are a number of sheets of paper with a series of venn diagrams and matching charts. She must have found some colored markers, because there are small circles and crosses and asterisks denoting various thoughts. At some point, apparently Peridot managed to haul the chalkboard up the ladder, and now it’s covered in little white circles and the arrowed lines connecting them. A veritable cloud of question marks floats in between a rounded triangle and pentagon within a circle.

There’s a distinctive, recurring theme. Or rather, a few. Her name, and Peridot’s name, with wide messy circles connecting the two. An entire portion of one wall is dedicated to bulleted lists: closer inspection reveals almost every page to be a record of Amethyst’s good qualities. There are a number of stick figures scattered across the room, hiding in the margins: most of them are holding hands.

One of the papers, clutched in her hands, is the one that Peridot left taped to the front of the television. The one with two columns:

  
**PROJECTED PROS AND CONS OF UNION**  
(incomplete)

Peridot scrabbles the rest of the way up onto the second floor and stands upright, straightening her spine, her hands hanging twitching at her sides. “It’s. A presentation.”

Amethyst turns back to stare at her, wide eyed, still leaning back a degree. Her eyebrows are nearly meeting in the middle, her fingers splayed and twitching as she tries to get her mental bearings.

“About you!” Only _slightly_ deterred, Peridot forges onwards, taking a halfstep towards her. “And… Also, possibly, me. And…” She trails off, her entire face a deep green, her shoulders hiked up nearly to her chin. This isn’t _exactly_ the reaction she had been hoping for; she didn’t plan for this, so she’s not sure where in her practiced announcement to pick up from. She’d been waiting for an opening to say--

“ _This isn’t funny_.” Amethyst says, her head down so that her bangs cover her face. 

Her voice is low, and flat, and dangerous. Peridot stammers to a halt, risking a glance upwards to meet her eyes. “F-Funny?”

Swinging a hand out and taking a step towards the trapdoor, Amethyst seems almost seems bigger than usual, her shoulders set and hair wildly askew. _Almost the size of a proper Quartz_ , the thought flits through Peridot’s mind before she can stop it. “This isn’t _funny!_ What, did Steven put you up to this? Is this revenge for the thing with the peanut butter? _Tell me!_ ” 

The green gem thinks she might see tears at the corner of her eyes -- desperately hopes that she imagined them -- while Amethyst throws her arms out, advancing on her. “Why would you do this?”

“N-No! I don’t understand, I tried to be as concise as-- What did I--” Eyes wide, Peridot steps backwards to keep the distance equal, and tumbles down the ladder, landing in the dirt with a solid _thump_ and a loud squawk. “ _Agh!_ Frackage!” 

When she opens her eyes again, the other gem has leapt down the ladder, turned on her heel, and clenched her fists until her knuckles are a pale, unhealthy lavender. Glaring down at Peridot with one barely exposed eye and baring her teeth, she hisses something under her breath.

It sounds almost like _”I thought you were different.”_

And then she’s gone, kicking up a small cloud of dust as she seemingly sprints away. Leaving Peridot sprawled on the barn floor, staring after her, blinking wildly as she tries to absorb what just happened. 

“ _Oh,_ my stars.” She mumbles, tugging her knees upwards to curl in on herself, staring at her hands. “I… May have miscalculated.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew! sorry that this one took longer than expected, but in my defense, i did have some pretty important life stuff to deal with. it was nice to finally get to shift to a more amethystcentric pov! i'm a lot more comfy writing her than some of the others ( which is of course why i did everything so far as steven or peridot............ go me ).
> 
> also, this is the end!! i'm thinking i'm gonna do a lil epilogue after i get some commissions out of the way, but this is the last like. proper chapter. thanks for reading, and special thanks to harry for proofreading for me amidst my shrieking about tiny gay rocks. ;v;
> 
>  **content warnings** are the same as the last chapter! nothing too exciting here.

The warp pads mean that the Crystal Gems can access nearly any corner of the globe, whether it’s to fight invaders, uncover a relic, or simply explore the planet.

But somehow, when Amethyst is in this mood, she always ends up back at the Kindergarden.

She’d spent some time curled up in _her_ hole, but the tight squeeze that she usually found comforting and cozy just felt… Wrong. Too low, too _small…_

Not how it _should_ be. So she’d crawled out and wandered around for a while, looking at the other gaps in the rock face, trying to just take in the sights. But _those_ made her chest feel tight and numb in an entirely different way, _so._

Back to the climbing rock, perched on the rounded top, her legs dangling off the edge. That was… Well. A while ago. She doesn’t know how much time passes like that, kicking her heels against the dirt and watching the clouds roll by. It doesn’t matter how long it is. It doesn’t matter. She _doesn’t want_ anybody to come and find her.

She doesn’t. She doesn’t. She definitely _doesn’t._

Which is why, when she sees a flash of light fill the canyon, she most _certainly_ doesn’t sit up a little straighter. Doesn’t rub her eyes to make sure they’re clear, doesn’t turn a little towards the warp -- not a single degree -- and _doesn’t_ hope that it signals the arrival of a particular gem with a penchant for making her feel better.

And _that_ is why she _definitely_ isn’t disappointed when Peridot trots into view.

“Oh,” Amethyst mutters, deadpan, before turning away fully, curling in on herself again. “I thought you might be Steven.”

Peridot coughs, and loosens one fist to stuff something soft and pale beneath her shoulder strap, freeing both of her hands. She uses them to climb partway up the rock, stopping with her heels down, about halfway up the slope. It leaves her _almost_ eye level with a seated Amethyst. “No, though he _was_ the one who told me where to find you. He also wished to accompany me, and I might have been here sooner! Had I not had to argue with him about the sagacity of such a--” She cuts herself off when she catches Amethyst’s unimpressed look, sucking her lips into her mouth to abort the sentence. 

“Let me guess,” Amethyst drawls, planting a hand behind her to hold her weight up as she lounges casually, radiating boredom. It’s not put on _at all_ , either. At least, Peridot shouldn’t be able to tell. She waves an arm up to chin level, her hand rolling around to communicate _exactly_ how casual she is about all this, and how little it affects her. “You came to say _sorry_ about your dumb little prank, huh?”

“It wasn’t a--” Peridot swallows her protest suddenly, bringing her hands together to press her index fingers against each other, bringing them in front of her mouth, the rest of her fingers laced together in a fist. Inhaling hugely, she blinks a few times as her breathing steadies, before she exhales to say: “Why. Exactly. Do you think. That it was a prank? A joke. Whichever word you want to use at a given time.”

But it just makes Amethyst bristle, being put on the spot. “What else could it be, duh! That was _waaaaay_ over the top, it must have taken like. Tons of time!” Her voice dropping from the near shout it had been, Amethyst casts her gaze downward before continuing. “I know it’s been boring around here lately, but it’s still a waste of effort. It’s just _me_ , y’know?”

Peridot boggles at her for a moment, mouth agape. “Are you accusing me of using resources inefficiently? Because I take exception to--”

But Amethyst isn’t finished.

“It’s just. What’s the word you would use? Oh, right.” She turns back to look up at Peridot, hair still curtaining her face, narrowing the eye that she can see out of to glare. “It’s _illogical._ And you’re all about _totally the opposite of that._ ” That eye rolls, her mouth tugging up briefly into a sardonic smile. “All about totally the opposite of like, everything I do, too.”

Even without the whole… Homeworld _thing_ , they’re just too different. She _knows_ that she’s not here for rules and order and efficiency. Nobody who needs or even _likes_ those things would ever _actually_ like her. It’s like water and… Whatever that bubbly thing was that Pearl showed her won’t mix with it. She’d thought it was really cool when Steven brought back a weird little spiral hourglass for her, but now it’s just making her feel…

Unmixable.

She curls up again, arms around her knees. “Nobody ever… Not with _me_ , anyway… I mean, not _back_...”

Suddenly, small green digits are wrapped around hers as Peridot sinks to a kneel in front of her, leaning forward with intent sincerity. “I think that I’d like very much for you to read something. Maybe hear something? Whichever would be easiest...”

Amethyst looks up properly for the first time, startled, before she fixes the glare on her face again. “Whatever’s _easiest?_ I know how to _read_ , Peridot. Maybe I just _did_ enough of it today, already.” _And didn’t like any of it_ , she manages to bite back. Tricking somebody is only funny when it’s believable.

Letting go of her hands, Peridot leans to grab at the white ruffle stuck between her shoulder and her shirt, pulling it out to lay it flat, trying to smooth it out. Clearing her throat, she pulls it up in front of her face so that her eyes are only barely visible over the top of it. 

“Favorite features of the earth residing gem, Amethyst, are as follows. The length and texture of her hair, which feels excellent between one’s touchst-- fingers. The small honking noise when she laughs a great deal. The shape of her talkflaps is extremely pleasing. The rest of her generated form is also visually acceptable, particularly the b--”

She has to stop when Amethyst reaches out to pull the paper down, revealing emerald green cheeks and an anxiously downturned mouth. Studying her expression, Amethyst tilts her head slightly and chews on her bottom lip. “You’re… You’re really not making fun of me, huh?” 

The blush doesn’t go anywhere, but Peridot’s frown turns into a cautious grin. It starts to fade when Amethyst doesn’t return it.

Instead smiling back, she sighs, and crosses her arms. “Okay, fine. I guess I believe you, even if it’s totally weird. But it doesn’t really _mean_ anything! You only like me because back on _your_ homeworld, I’d outrank you, or whatever. I’m not _stupid_ , I hear how you talk!” 

Because, of course, that’s the only way she could catch somebody’s attention. That feeling in her chest tightens again, cold and constricting and numb, before;

Peridot’s expression crumples, and she breaks eye contact to scratch at the back of her head, wincing. “I… Well… That… That may have been true at one point, I suppose. But only for a very brief period!” She plants her hands on the ground in front of Amethyst, craning forward onto the peak of the rock to stare at her earnestly. “When I first arrived, not only were the Crystal Gems the enemy, but you did everything…Backwards.”

“Like me.” Crossing her arms again, turns her glare not at the other gem, but at the paper still clutched in one hand.

“ _No!_ ” Amethyst has to lean back from the force of the reaction, palms flung out in her face with fingers spread wide. “No, that’s not it at all!” 

There’s a brief moment when Amethyst lets herself hope, before the echo chamber in her mind sabotages her with _well, you’re not supposed to be_ and _everything a_ real _quartz can do_. “Yeah, but you… You’re the one who said I’m defective.” 

Peridot flinches, biting at her bottom lip and looking anywhere but at Amethyst for a long few seconds. It feels like eternity. “Well, yes. But I have discovered that... perhaps a gem’s value is not determined by their use, or use _fulness_. At least, not here, right?” When she finally meets her eyes again, there’s an expression that Amethyst has rarely seen; there’s something soft about it, and hopeful. “And also, now that I’ve defect _ed_ , well… Perhaps they’re not so different.” 

Her words hang in the air as the sun sinks lower, but she doesn’t look away. She’s serious. She’s _serious._ Mind reeling, Amethyst spends the silence with the gears whirring inside her skull, desperately trying to land on the cool thing to say in response. 

It, for some reason, settles on “Oh.”

Mouth agape, Amethyst shakes her head to clear it, since that was _totally the opposite_ of smooth. “Lemme try that again. Um, you wanna maybe… Finish reading me that list?”

Peridot’s face shifts from nervous to eager, and she scrambles up the slight incline to park herself next to Amethyst, hip to hip with legs outstretched. The same side that she sat on for nearly a week of fuzzy tapes and skipping discs, the same side that Amethyst shifted her over to so that she could see her through her part. Clearing her throat again, she moves to bring the paper back up into her line of sight, only to realize that in her haste, she dropped it on the other side of her companion’s knee, a few feet away. _Just_ out of her radius. 

Having let it happen, Amethyst laughs and reaches over, grabbing the sheet and handing it over. 

“Here, Peri.” She bites her lip again and tucks a strand of hair back so that she has a proper view. “And when you’re done that, maybe… Maybe I can take another look at the stuff in the loft?”

Peridot looks at her with shining eyes and a genuine smile, taking the list out of her hands. “And you’ll stay for the presentation this time?”

That earns an even louder laugh, Amethyst throwing her head back and letting out one of her real guffaws. 

And she doesn’t even try to suppress the tiny snorting honk she makes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW. i don't know why this took me so long, since it's a lot shorter than the rest! but here's the epilogue, which is pretty much just a lil peek at what domesticity is like with these two. i wanted to at least cover steven finding out that his advice worked. sorta.
> 
> no content warnings for this! i mean. other than amethyst's idea of a good meal. the girl eats teabags, i can't imagine her tastes are shared by the rest of the gems. or anyone. for that matter.

Neither of them _announces_ anything. Neither of them feels the need to; the homeworld approach to romance is _functional_ , to say the least. And it’s not as though the gems use social media, so there weren’t any relationship statuses to change.

 _So_ , it takes a few days before the news gets out.

The way that it breaks goes something like this:

When Steven comes downstairs to make himself breakfast, the two gems are already there: Peridot kicking her ankles back and forth from her perch on one of the island stools, watching while Amethyst bustles around between the fridge and the stove. 

He freezes in place, backpedalling until he’s hidden from view, peeking around the corner to observe the scene without being observed himself.

“I don’t _know_ why it’s a thing, Periwinkle!” Amethyst is in Purple Puma mode, bent over the stove and poking whatever’s on top of it with a spatula. “I just know that in movies and junk, humans make each other breakfast. And breakfast is awesome. So it’s like, a win win!”

“But do you _have_ to take that form?” Peridot sighs, propping her chin up on the heel of her palm. “It’s _much_ less aesthetically pleasing than your usual.”

Steven has never seen the Purple Puma blush before, but when Amethyst turns around, her cheeks are dark violet. “Yeah, well… Normal me can’t reach the top shelves, and eggs are best with mustard.” 

She turns around, frying pan in hand, and tilts it with uncharacteristic care to scrape a soggy yellow pile onto the plate in front of Peridot. Even from a distance, Steven can see that they’re scrambled, and that they look severely undercooked. There’s also orange spots, which he realizes after a moment must be the dried mango slices that Pearl got him for snacks.

It’s difficult for him to be annoyed when Amethyst shifts back to her usual self, hands on her hips and mouth pulled back into a wide smile. “ _There_. I made you breakfast. The first part of the ‘date ritual’ is complete. You feelin’ any better about it?”

A grin spreads across Steven’s face, and he darts out from behind the corner before he starts hopping from foot to foot, unable to stop himself from singing. But it’s not one of his usual spontaneous ballads. It’s something a lot simpler:

“Peridot and Amethyst, sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S--”

Both of them startle at the intrusion, Peridot waving her arms and nearly knocking the plate over in her attempt to defend herself. Glancing sideways at Amethyst, she recovers quickly, coughing into her fist. “Steven. We are in your house, and therefore, indoors. Clearly, we are not in a tree.” She narrows her eyes, squinting at him thoughtfully. “Or is this one of your… _metaphors_ , was it?”

“What? No! It’s just a rhyme.” He stops dead, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “But you _are_! And you’re gi-- gemfriends now! So you’re gonna kiss, right?”

Peridot tilts her head slightly, her eyes still narrowed. “Kiiiiiss? What are you talking about?” She looks at Amethyst, gesturing helplessly at Steven. “What is he talking about?”

“Pfffft. It’s some weird thing humans do to like, kill time, or something.” Amethyst leans against the island counter, twisting a strand of hair around an index finger and studying the nails on her other hand; nonchalance practically seeps out of her every pore. “Vidalia always said I was pretty good at it, though, so… I dunno, if you wanna give it a try...”

Throwing his arms out gleefully, Steven peers up at them with his hands spread wide. “See? I knew it! You--” He cuts himself off again, dropping his hands as his eyes go huge, pupils shining. “Wait. Waaaaitwaitwaitwait. _Vidalia?_ Isn’t that--”

He doesn’t see Garnet coming up behind him, and has no recourse when she scoops him up under the armpits. She lifts him above her head to place him atop her hair, which puts him well above eye level of the shorter gems, even with Peridot propped up on a stool. 

“Steven, maybe you should let them have this conversation in private.” Perched above her skull, he can’t see the smile on her face; but Amethyst can, and it prompts a light mauve to color her cheeks. “If they _want_ to, they can provide an update later.”

Peridot is still fixated on the contents of the plate before her, poking them uncertainly with a spoon ( she still doesn’t _quite_ believe that forks aren’t some kind of tiny, surprise weapon ). “Yes, we should most definitely have this conversation. Unless the ritual only requires that this breakfast be made, and not consumed?”

Amethyst picks up the plate and tilts it back, letting the pile of eggs and mango and mustard slide into her open maw, before swallowing audibly. “There. Consumed. Let’s go, Peri.” She grabs the other gem’s hand -- _gemfriend_ , Steven thinks with glee, biting his bottom lip -- and yanks her towards the door. “Thanks for watching Steven, Garnet! We’ll be back after we’re done with _conversing._ "

* * *

The loft in the barn is no longer wallpapered with sheets of printer paper; the charts and graphs and lists have been pulled down and recycled. _That_ was Pearl’s fault. She insisted not only on assisting in cleaning up the space, but on making sure that the paper not go to waste.

There is, however, one sheaf that Peridot insisted on saving. It’s still pinned to the wall, in a place of honor above the couch, immediately visible when one reaches the top of the ladder. They see it every time they retreat upstairs to watch audiovisual entertainment together.

While Peridot had been the one to rescue it, Amethyst was the one who took it upon herself to do the actual _editing_. She’d done so with a violet permanent marker, and no small amount of glee.

  
**~~PROJECTED~~ PROS ~~AND CONS~~ OF UNION**  
( ~~in~~ complete)


End file.
